It’s your way or the highway…
Guest post by Sheryl Hansen
On many holiday occasions over the years, I have found myself enduring the company of family, a meal I don’t particularly enjoy or fretting over preparations for an entire day without enjoying the occasion itself. Holidays should be happy, stress-free, relaxing…shouldn’t they?
In order to get closer to happy and relaxing, I have eliminated some of the less positive aspects of holidays. For example, instead of cooking obligatory meals (turkey for Thanksgiving is one example), which many of my family did not enjoy, I instead began a tradition of cooking everyone’s favourites. It is not unheard of in my home to have lobster for Christmas dinner, or salmon on Thanksgiving. Many of the items chosen by my family do not necessarily “go” together, but who cares? Everyone is happy to have been considered and to enjoy their favourite.
I also don’t feel obliged to attend extended family events. Not all families get along all of the time and some families don’t get along any of the time! Sometimes I choose to go to family events, other times I choose to attend only part of the event (dessert only) or to not attend at all. My measure for attending or not, is how I feel when I receive the invitation. If the invitation creates anxiety, or my mind is immediately looking for an excuse not to go, I will decline. There is no point, for me, in being somewhere I don’t want to be.
There is no wrong way or right way to celebrate a holiday. There is only YOUR way. If that entails a bowl of popcorn while watching movies in bed with your kids, do it. Enjoy it. Give thanks for those curled up around you. And don’t feel guilty about it!
Happy Thanksgiving!
October 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I agree, but we (my wife and I) recently found out that our kids (now all out of the nest) do not want us to deviate from “tradition”. They look forward to all the traditional dishes and fixin’s. The social side of the event is equally steeped in “tradition” and difficult to deviate from . . . but I guess that is what makes it “traditional”. We love building “our family” traditions that will (hopefully) be looked back upon with fondness. In your own way you are going to celebrate the holidays in such a way that will, over time, evolve into “your own traditions”, and that is good.